Can I just say, I fucking hate PCOS?
What I really hate is the way it completely fucked up my life before I started to get it treated. That I felt miserable because I was fat and spotty and depressed, and no matter how I dieted and exercised and took care of my skin I continued to be so. That my father deliberately served me smaller portions and made me feel ashamed of my weight, which I couldn’t control, that I hated having photos taken of me because my skin was awful and I felt overweight, especially compared to the rest of the teenage girls I was around. I hate that. I hate that a lot. I hate that I was hairy, and that shaving my legs took forever - I remember a casual comment from a friend that she only needed to shave them once a week or so, and I was amazed. How did she do that? Either I shaved them every other day or not at all (and opted for not at all, generally, because a bath every other day - glasses, unable to see my legs without them on - was not practical at all), and because body hair is apparently shameful, I had to find ways to hide it when I was forced into bare legs.
I hate it so much.
I hate that it means that I probably won’t have kids. I don’t want kids, right now, but I want that to be my choice, not dictated to me by a body that just isn’t fertile (or by people with their hands on my birth control, just throwing that out there). I hate that I have to be careful with what I eat and drink because lol! diabetes! And I just… want it to go away. I want to be normal, whatever it normal is.